Speaking Truth To Power in Love

“Flee the evil desires of youth, and pursue righteousness, faith, love and peace, along with those who call on the Lord out of a pure heart. Don't have anything to do with foolish and stupid arguments, because you know they produce quarrels. And the Lord's servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will.” - 2 Timothy 2: 22-26.

A series of emails and facebook comments between Steve and myself has prompted me to write on a subject that I feel is long overdue. Namely, how do we speak truth to power in love, when power is not interested in hearing the truth either in love or not? It is the question that defines our walk, and, more often than not, becomes our Achilles’ heel. The health care reform debate has garnered significant and heated exchanges, not only between political factions within the country, but within the pages of this blog, as well as those of facebook; and over the last few days I have had the occasion to reflect upon my own behavior and quite frankly have found it wanting. Knowing that I write a blog on hypocrisy within the Church is a heavy burden; knowing that at times the hypocrit is the one staring back at me from the mirror is sobering to say the least.

It is not so much my opinion of this most critical of issues, but rather the methodology behind it that needs examination. What the above passage makes abundantly clear is that we do not have the option of engaging in conduct that contradicts the edicts of Christ, no matter how entitled me may feel, or how righteous our cause might seem. For if we sink to such depths, even if we win the battle, we end up losing the war. Victories obtained under such pretenses betray the ideals that God sets for us, and undermines the ultimate purpose that he may have in store for us.

But while it is clear we are not to resort to tactics that stain our faith, it is equally clear we are not to cower in the face of that which we know is wrong. We do not have the option to run from truth, simply because it might offend those who do not agree. How then do we reconcile the two? The 12-step recovery program gives us a helping hand in the form of the Serenity prayer.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Seldom has one prayer spoken so loudly and clearly as this. The words encapsulate the very essence of the journey of life. There is scarcely a successful human being who does not employ, whether he knows it or not, the precepts contained within its lines.

The first line speaks to letting go of the results in life. No matter how persuasive our argument or justified our stance may be, some will never be swayed or influenced. We must accept that God still has a plan for that person or persons; that simply because he or they have chosen not to hear or accept our point of view, that does not mean we have failed. God will credit us with at least the attempt. There is an “E” for effort in heaven.

The second line speaks of courage. This is where we fearlessly stand our ground and make our case. We “gently instruct” those who need it in the “knowledge of the truth” in love. We let go of any expectation that we will be liked or appreciated. Paul never gave it a moment’s thought that his words might offend those who needed Godly instruction; his purpose was to correct what he saw as unchristian-like tendencies that were sprouting up in the early Church. In this endeavor he was responsible and answerable only to God.

But it is the third line that defines our spiritual maturity. It calls for wisdom to know the difference between that which we can change or affect and that which we cannot. This wisdom can only come from God. We do not possess even a sliver of it. How do we know who can be persuaded to change a behavior or stance and who won’t? The answer is not easy but it is far simpler than we suspect. Basically, if we have done our best to call out injustice and hypocrisy, and done so lovingly, it is no longer our responsibility to “change” that person or persons. The sole responsibility is God’s. Note that it says, “God will grant them repentance” not “we” will grant them repentance. If wisdom comes from God, then so does everything else, including a changed heart.

But there is more to it than mere serenity, courage or wisdom. What is called for is an examination of our motives. This is the sticky part for many of us. Convinced of the righteousness of our position we valiantly march forward in our quest to “convict” those not of a like mind of the sins of their ways, not quite realizing that perhaps it was not so much righteousness as it was self-righteousness that propelled us in the first place. In these instances it is imperative to ask what our true aims are. Are we seeking God’s will in the situation not only for that person or persons, but for ourselves as well? Are we acting in love not to shame the other side but to give, as the letter says, “gentle instruction” so as to bring about correction, or are we simply participating in “foolish and stupid arguments” simply because they produce the very quarrels that feed not truth but deception?

And what if we have concluded, after much prayer and meditation, that we are right in our quest? What now? Do we proceed to shame our opponents in an attempt to bring them to their senses? If we were to turn that around, the question begs to be asked, how would we respond if we were on the receiving end of such shameful tactics. How “changed” would we be after being subjected to repeated jabs and barbs? Even Jesus, when he was calling out the Pharisees, did not resort to shameful tactics to make his point. He was steadfast and resolute, but retained his composure, even to the end of his life. Hence, he never ceded the moral high ground to his adversaries.

And therein lies both the rub and the challenge. It is not enough merely to be right; we must be righteous. To be correct in a point of view, but to lose one’s moral compass is to lose, period. This does not mean that we ignore the sinful ways of others or pretend, as so many apologists tend to, that there is more than one truth. Our path and our call means more than just fighting battles that stir men’s blood; it means conquering their hearts. To do that we must remember that, though they be of opposite mind, they are also God’s children, deserving of love, respect and empathy. If we would expect nothing less from others, then God surely demands at least that much from us.

It does violence to our cause if we respond to the fear and ignorance that is displayed at town-hall meetings with judgments and condemnations of such people, no matter how justified we may seem. Exposing the lies behind such displays is still essential, but we will not succeed if all we do is engage in the same tactics as those who initiated them in the first place. The real villain here lies beneath, and like the serpent in the garden, tempts and baits us to act tit for tat. We must resist the urge to act like him and instead proceed as Jesus would in such situations. He was tempted many times, yet never fell. Many of these people are frightened and are vulnerable to the kinds of deceptions that have found their way into this debate. We will not turn them by insulting and shaming them.

In the end our hope lies in a higher authority, and we must rely upon his guidance and justice. We do our part, fearlessly, but lovingly, and let God determine the outcome. If we have done our best with what God has graciously granted us, it will be credited to us in the long run.