The Lack of Empathy in America

Every once in a while, my wife and I will get a call from a charitable institution seeking a donation.  Sometimes, depending on what the cause is, we will send in a check.  Over the last few years, though, the predominant answer has been either a no or a response along the lines of, “I’m sorry but the homeowners are away. Could you call back?”

It’s not that my wife and I don’t want to contribute, or can’t; it’s because, though we have been quite fortunate to both be employed during this economic downturn, we are ever mindful – at least I am, anyway – that the storm clouds are still on the horizon.  Nothing is guaranteed.  Empathy often comes a distant second to taking care of your own.  And this from a self-described progressive!

It makes me wonder how many other people have succumbed to such fearful thinking.  I have a theory, and it’s one that quite frankly gives me the shivers.  In rough economic times, people’s hearts tend to turn colder and more indifferent.  Worse, there is almost a resentment of those who are perceived as a drain on their standing.

A case in point, recently I came across this posting on facebook:

What struck me most wasn’t the actual sign, but some of the comments that followed:

Here Here!!! There should be better control over Welfare recipients and where they spend their money since it's actually our money they are spending :(

Just clicking like is not enough for me. This motto should be spread across every billboard, every newspaper, and announced in church every Sunday. I don't know who created this, but my hats off to them! Right on!!

Ain't that right! Someone who is on welfare, 2 kids, gets $2k a month, food stamps and wic OVER double what I make working 40 hrs a week!

Let’s not forget IPhones!!

Or any other handouts you claim to be entitled to.

What I found most revealing about these comments and the others – some of which were truly depraved – was how completely devoid of even a semblance of empathy they all were and how very angry all of the respondents clearly are.  Obviously there is a deep resentment towards this particular group who they see as moochers; people who they feel are stealing from them.

I have seen this before in American society and, without exception, it is most evident when times are tough. It’s as though the uncertainty and fear that often define our circumstances turn our hearts cold to the suffering of others.  Indeed, one could make the case that the relationship between empathy and callousness lies in direct proportion to how well the economy is doing.  When times are good, people tend to be more upbeat about their personal circumstances, hence they are less concerned about whether someone might be mooching off of them and are, therefore, far more likely to be giving and compassionate; but when times are rough, the need to scapegoat and blame others rises dramatically along with resentments. 

Not only does empathy tend to vanish during bad economic times, it is replaced by a self-righteous indignation that strikes out, not at the true villains who caused the calamity in the first place, but at those who’ve been victimized the most.

That’s the irony of it.  You’d think that a bad economy would foster greater empathy from the general public towards those less fortunate.  In fact it is just the opposite.  Empathy is replaced by antipathy.  Maybe it’s because at a core level we see in their plight what could happen to us and, rather than deal with the fear, which is real and legitimate, we transfer our rage onto them.  Someone must be to blame.  Why not the one with his hand out?

The idea that the poor and indigent in this society are somehow getting a free ride at the expense of our hard-working tax dollars is not even remotely supported by the facts.  Most of these people barely scrape by on the food stamps and subsistence checks they receive each month.  For the most part they are not splurging on luxuries; they can barely afford the essentials to keep them alive.        

That the idiots who made this sign, along with the dozens of respondents who chimed in, can’t process what’s really going on inside their souls, is the real problem in America today. Fear and resentment are certainly nothing new.  But in tough economic times, they often become the fuel for an unrest that seeks to take its vengeance out in the ugliest and, sometimes, most violent means.  What happened in Germany in the 1930s started out as nothing more than pent up frustration that was quickly exploited by sick and twisted minds to unspeakable ends.

We must always be on guard that our fear doesn’t get the best of us, lest we say or do something we truly regret.

What Would Jesus Do?

You've seen it on bumper stickers; people wear it on their bracelets.  The term has become, for lack of a better word, a catch-phrase among many Christians and even non-Christians.  What Would Jesus Do?  Sometimes it's not even a question, so much as a statement of fact.

The recent controversy involving the food chain Chick-Fil-A has become a lightning rod for both proponents and opponents of same-sex marriage and, if recent history is any indicator, the issue promises to be around for quite some time.  Why?  Because both sides consider the matter settled and can't see, for the life of them, why the other side is so intransigent.

And while the political perspective on this issue may be crucial so far as the candidates vying for the presidency are concerned, I wanted to address it more from a purely spiritual perspective, for I, for one, do not think it is settled by any means.

I do not claim to know what is in the heart of every man or woman and, certainly, each is entitled to their opinion.  Nor do I claim to know what motivates each of them to that opinion.  But there is something about the interview that Dan Cathy gave that just doesn't sit well with me. In fact it bothers me to no end.  When asked about his support of traditional family values, Cathy said the following:

“Well, guilty as charged. We are very much supportive of the family — the biblical definition of the family unit. We are a family-owned business, a family-led business and we are married to our first wives. We give God thanks for that. We operate as a family business … our restaurants are typically led by families; some are single. We want to do anything we possibly can to strengthen families. We are very much committed to that. We intend to stay the course. We know that it might not be popular with everyone, but thank the Lord, we live in a country where we can share our values and operate on biblical principles.”

At first glance, the statement seems benign, even innocuous.  What's so bad about a business operating on biblical principles?  Wouldn't the world be a better place if every company ran its operation like that?

And then I took a closer look at his choice of wording and that's when the hair on my back began to stand up.  Everything about that statement, though obviously written for a Christian audience, is about as far removed from any Christian value as any I've seen lately.

Let's start with the word guilty.  For a Christian, the word has only one true meaning: we are guilty as sin and it is only through Christ, who took our place on the cross and, in so doing, took the sins of the world upon himself, that we become justified.  When a Christian speaks of guilt, he or she is speaking of the conviction of being a follower.  And to be a follower means that we will be condemned by this world - guilty as charged - the way Paul and Peter were before they were martyred.  Cathy is comparing himself to Paul and Peter.  How self aggrandizing can someone get?

But the line that makes my skin crawl is the one in which Cathy gives "thanks" for running a family-led business in which "we are married to our first wives."  Of all the sins that Jesus spoke out against, none were greater than pride.  One of his best and most important parables in the New Testament was the one about the Pharisee and the tax collector.

"To some who were confident of their own righteousness and looked down on everybody else, Jesus told this parable: “Two men went up to the temple to pray, one a Pharisee and the other a tax collector.   The Pharisee stood up and prayed about himself: ‘God, I thank you that I am not like other men—robbers, evildoers, adulterers—or even like this tax collector.  I fast twice a week and give a tenth of all I get.’ 

“But the tax collector stood at a distance. He would not even look up to heaven, but beat his breast and said, ‘God, have mercy on me, a sinner.’

“I tell you that this man, rather than the other, went home justified before God. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”

The sheer arrogance of Cathy's statement makes it clear that, far from being a truly God-fearing man who understands what it means to be a follower of Christ, his actions are motivated more by a need to point out just how good he is, and, therefore, how bad someone else must be.  You don't have to be a biblical scholar to see the hubris and pride of such a damning pronouncement.

And then there's the closing line, in which Cathy admits that his company's stance may not be "popular with everyone" but then thanks the Lord again for living in a country where he can "share" his values and "operate on biblical principles."  Again, the assumption that Cathy has a monopoly on what constitutes a biblical principle is in itself so unbiblical that it practically glows in the dark.  When Jesus said to his disciples that it is "easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God," he wasn't merely speaking of personal wealth.  Pride is a form of self wealth and Cathy's statement reeks of it.  Sadly, many conservative Christians today are equally guilty of this sin.

For any true believer, the key to living a Christian life is through humility and grace.  We are called to love all God's people and not to judge others, lest ye be judged.  Whichever way you land on the issue of same-sex marriage, there is one thing which no follower of Jesus can deny: All of us are created in His image.  He loves us all, sins and all.

And there many sins out there; not just the ones some Christians love to trot out and pontificate on.  Dan Cathy would do well to remember that the next time he finds himself in an interview.