Coming Out: One brave bird dares fly against the wind.

There are many things that have always bugged me about Christianity. Its ties to moneyed interests throughout its history – at least the history that post dates the early days of the Church – has been a great cause for concern for many progressives who view such ties as contrary to the teachings of Christ; the incessant view held by many conservatives that the Bible should be interpreted literally has been a thorny issue that has plagued the religion since the days of Augustine, and there appears to be no resolution forthcoming any time soon; and the endemic conservative bent throughout the Church on virtually every issue from global warming to healthcare reform has pitted brother against brother and sister against sister and forced many outside the faith to question what our real priorities are. What can we possibly offer those seeking everlasting salvation if we cannot show that we ourselves are saved?

But while all the above are significant enough to make a saint swear, none has been more puzzling and damning than the issue of homosexuality. One would rather admit to being a leper than to admit to being gay. The Church has treated such “aberrant” behavior like a doctor would treat an infectious disease. Support groups like Living Waters offer to “cure” the afflicted of their malady by convincing them that they have somehow been wounded early in their lives. Once that wound has been brought to the Cross the natural heterosexual drives that exist in all God’s creatures are restored. Life resumes as it should and all is well in the universe.

Now it’s not my wish to belittle the faith that I have called my own for nearly twenty years, nor do I mean to suggest that support groups like the one mentioned above have not helped the broken and downtrodden, for the tragic truth is that many Christians, as well as non-Christians, have suffered deep wounds at the hands of predator adults who were supposed to be our protectors in our formative years. The damage that such wounds cause are played out in our adult lives and must be rooted out if we are to be set free. But to jump from A to C and suggest, as so many in the Church do, that homosexuals are nothing more than heterosexuals who have been sexually wounded quite frankly is offensive to the homosexual community. To lump these people into the same pot of damaged goods because their lifestyle runs counter to certain Biblical teachings seems most, well, un-Christ-like. The problem with quoting scripture is that you can use it to make any point you wish to make, no matter how hurtful or myopic it might be.

Case in point, last week’s announcement by Christian singer/songwriter Jennifer Knapp that she is a lesbian has rocked the Christian music world. No other artist of Knapp’s caliber has ever come out of the closet, and the shock waves were predictable. Based on the treatment Amy Grant received when she got divorced, one can only imagine the scorn that is awaiting Knapp for her bravado in acknowledging her status.

Yes, I said bravado! Regardless of how one may feel about the homosexual lifestyle, it took courage for Knapp to come clean, especially knowing the community to which she has called her home for so many years. But courage has never been Knapp’s problem. The four-time Dove award winner has not only been a staple of many Christian groupies, she has also earned the respect of her peers throughout the music industry as a whole. Her cover of Shawn Colvin’s “Diamond in the Rough” remains one of the better covers of the last fifteen years.

I have never hid my disdain for the bulk of Christian music. Fact is I often find such music banal and just flat out lame. It is lifeless and artless. Gospel, by comparison, buries it. Knapp’s music was one of the few exceptions to the rule. Unlike so many of her peers who leap from A to D – you know, I was a sinner and now I’m free; thank you Jesus; God is great – Knapp got it. The struggle wasn’t over just because we surrendered to God; in fact it was just beginning. She knew she was wounded and she never shied away from baring her soul as well as her heart. She is that rarest of artists in the Christian music industry. She embraces her pain - you could almost call it angst - and uses it as a vehicle to allow us into her journey in the same way a Bruce Springsteen or a Lucinda Williams might. And while I am certainly not suggesting that Knapp deserves inclusion into that “sacred” group – she has quite a ways to go before crossing that bridge – among all the artists of her genre, she is the only one I take seriously, because she is the only one who never forgot where she came from. Too often, in our zeal to tell the world how wonderful salvation is, we forget that pain is still an integral part of our life story. Artists like Jennifer Knapp, who do not recoil from it as from a hot flame, in the end dignify their music as well as their fans.

And now she has another story to tell: a story of suppression and denial and, yes, shame. The road ahead for Knapp will no doubt be a rocky one, and she has earned it. But she has also earned the right to live it out and to sing about it in what ever manner she chooses, no matter how it may rub the majority of Christians a certain way. Knapp has said that her forthcoming album, aptly titled “Letting Go,” will honor her faith even while it seeks to appeal to a more mainstream audience and that is the way it should be. Knapp isn’t abandoning her faith; if anything she will need it now more than ever. Whether the Christian community ever receives her back into its “good” graces remains to be seen. If they can look past their own stigmatizing biases, I submit they may be pleasantly surprised; if they can’t and choose to shun her, it will be their loss. Either way the sun will still rise in the east tomorrow, only there will be one less bird flying with the flock.